Let Pride Replace Perfectionism

My client Saul and I had an enlightening chat about what could possibly replace his yearning for perfection in order to feel good about himself. Actually, for Saul perfection is beyond simple desire and more a matter of emotional life-and-death: If I don’t do this perfectly/Since I didn’t do this perfectly, I may as well curl up and die.  Saul was describing an incident in which he’d been caught and called out on something he did to someone else surreptitiously. He said he wanted to die on the spot and couldn’t apologize enough to make himself feel okay. I could feel the agony pouring out of him even in the telling of the tale.  What is it about the relentless drive, the niggling obsession, the almost palpable hunger for perfection that makes us want to disappear when we don’t achieve it? I’d say when it comes to perfection shame is the...